But then my creativity took me on a new course. I had a taste of performing in the Army and tried my hand at acting and modeling competitions. I crushed it and found an agent. I  left home again, this time for NYC, where for over 20 years, I was an actor living in the hustle and bustle of New York City. In the beginning, I loved every moment of it - becoming someone else for a time was exhilarating. However, after a while, the city, the grind, the constant rejection and the never-ending search for work, and a failed marriage took a real toll on my mental health. 

After my divorce at 40, I hit rock bottom. My ex-wife took nearly everything. I told her to since I wanted nothing to remember us by. I still had my rent-stabilized Hells Kitchen apartment, but my money, our furniture, couch, television – all of it was gone. Now, I would never become a father. I was so distraught that fucked it up. I had thought I would be different than my Dad, my birth mom, my stepmom, and my second stepmom, my older siblings – all of them had divorced and remarried at least once, most more than once. All had divorced, NOT ME! I was supposed to break the cycle… but I had failed.